Sometimes you end up going through an entire Costco sized box of tissues.

Each semicolon represents an attempt, and the color corresponds to the methods:

Black: Asphalt (attempting to drive off a bridge onto the road below)

Green: "sickness/poison" (pills)

Blue: Asphyxiation (strangulation)

The question mark means exactly what it looks like, and what the title means. The Thoughts are always looming and lurking, and there may come a day when I give in. Not in the foreseeable future, but you never know.

“Music is your only friend…”

- Jim Morrisson

The anti anxiety meds that I was first prescribed work very well... assuming I don’t need to do anything like be alert, or drive, or have a coherent conversation.

Taking one when I need to means that the rest of the day will be a blur.

Sometimes under extreme stress, when flight and fight aren’t options - you freeze. Sometimes you start to depersonalize or disassociate, and blend into your surroundings.

Sometimes when I am stressed, I pull my hair out without realizing it. Under extreme stress my hair has been coming out a bit on its own - adding to my hair loss.

When your heart is broken in several ways.

Sometimes even when people are trying to be supportive, your brain tells you that you’re just bein a nuisance and a burden.

Sometimes when you hit rock bottom, you reach out for any bit of salvation that you can find.